On acting a fool

Milk makes me sick. Travis tells me I'm not allowed to have it. He goes to work and can't stop me. I drink two large glasses of milk. Milk makes me sick. Repeat.

Ugh. I want to crawl into a hole.

On inter-species relationships

J: did you know cats and horses fight each? And kick? And bite? And poke each other's tails? And lay on the floor together?

M: Juliet, stop neighing and leave that cat alone.

J: and give friends hugs every day in the spring time?

 

On understanding the universe

Juliet has really taken to asking 'why?' and she does it with her own special flair.

For example, an everyday occurrence, like seeing our cat.

J: what is that?

M: our cat. 

J: why is it our cat?

M: because we own him.

J: why do we own him?

M: because we like him.

J: why do we like him?

M: because he is our cat.

J: why is he our cat?

M: ...

Or the ever more perplexing question of 'why is he a cat?'

 Try answering that one to a 3 year old's satisfaction! 

Hint: it's not possible.

On Pronunciation

My three year old has trouble pronouncing certain sounds and some words. It makes me smile.

Juliet: "Lork Mom! Drutus droke my tretzel! I'm a trazelle! Monkeys like beannas!"

Translation: "Look Mom! Brutus broke my pretzel! I'm a gazelle! Monkeys like bananas!

On Frozen Poultry

I am not a fan of birds in two states: alive and frozen. I have an unfortunate history with both. More on living birds later, today I had a run in with the frozen variety.

Today's lesson - do not try to remove the giblets from a chicken that is frozen solid. Do not boil the chicken in an attempt to thaw it. Do not try to remove a boiling chicken by grabbing the legs with your hands and lifting. Do not stick your hand into a bird that has been sitting in boiling hot water. Do not plop frozen birds into boiling water.

Do exercise forethought, patience, or at least buy pre-cooked rotisserie chicken.

On Batman

J: Batman has a son. It's a bird. (She holds up a cheap white hanger and bends it) Caw! Caw!

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On our way to church
J: Batman is coming with us.
Me: Yes, that's fine (Batman is invisible)
J: Can Batman's son come with us?
M: No, his son is too loud for church.
J: But then Batman will miss his son and he will cry.

On Babies

J: I was born out of a rock.

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J: (while pretending to nurse a baby-doll) My baby is thirsty. She was crying. So I'm feeding her milk out of my bones.

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We might need to go over some things before she gets much older...